uncomfortable conversations with a black man episode 4

The importance of the issue and the relationship.

Do not feel pressured to respond to every incident rather, feel empowered to do so when you decide you should. Discernĭetermine how much of an investment you want to make in addressing the microaggression. We recommend the following framework for determining which course is best for you in any given situation and then, if you decide to respond, ensuring an effective dialogue.

Such accusations are a form of racial gaslighting, which can be very damaging. The Black employee bringing it up might be deemed petty - like someone who has been harboring resentment or holding on to “little things” while the other party, having “meant no harm,” has moved on. A follow-up conversation requires helping the person who committed the microaggression to first recall it and then to appreciate its impact.

A more tempered response is to address the perpetrator privately at a later point to explain why the microaggression was offensive. The perpetrator might get defensive, leaving the target feeling like they somehow “lost control,” did not show up as their best self, and will be labeled an overly sensitive whiner, a troublemaker, or the stereotypical angry Black person. Immediacy is an important component of correcting bad behavior. This approach allows the transgression to be called out and its impact explained while the details of the incident are fresh in the minds of everyone involved. Yet silence places an emotional tax on Black employees, who are left wondering what happened and why, questioning their right to feel offended, and reinforcing beliefs that they are not safe from identity devaluation at work. Because they are pervasive yet subtle, they can be emotionally draining to confront. For a long time, the most common default response was choosing not to address offensive comments in the workplace. But in the absence of those changes - and understanding that complete prevention is probably impossible - how should Black employees and managers respond to the microaggressions they face, within and outside of current discussions around race in the workplace? The best solution is, of course, increasing awareness of microaggressions, insisting that non-Black employees stop committing them, and calling out those who do. Microaggressions reinforce white privilege and undermine a culture of inclusion. In fact, research suggests that subtle forms of interpersonal discrimination like microaggressions are at least as harmful as more-overt expressions of discrimination. “Everyone can succeed in society if they work hard enough” (signaling that disparate outcomes for Black people result from laziness).Īs suggested by the name, microaggressions seem small, but compounded over time, they can have a deleterious impact on an employee’s experience, physical health, and psychological well-being.“I see your hair is big today! Are you planning to wear it like that to the client meeting?” (signaling that natural Black hairstyles are not professional).“You are so articulate” (signaling that Black people are not usually capable of competent intellectual conversation).“We are all one race: the human race” (signaling that your experience as a Black person is no different from the experience of people of other races).

“When I see you, I don’t see color” (signaling that the person doesn’t acknowledge your Blackness or won’t hold it against you).Here are a few seemingly innocuous statements that, in the context of racist assumptions and stereotypes, can be quite damaging. For Black people, they are ubiquitous across daily work and life. Microaggressions are defined as verbal, behavioral, and environmental indignities that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults to the target person or group. These are incidents in which someone accidentally (or purposely) makes an offensive statement or asks an insensitive question. But those discussions will in all likelihood be very uncomfortable - not just for white employees and leaders who might be confronting their privilege for the first time but also for people of color, especially Black Americans, who know that candid talks with colleagues will mean they either face or need to call out “microaggressions.” That’s a good thing, hopefully paving the way for meaningful anti-racist action from both individuals and organizations. workplaces - and around the world - people are finally engaging in real conversations about race, justice, diversity, equality, and inclusion.

Uncomfortable conversations with a black man episode 4